My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Barsexuality is the new black.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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