she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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