five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dick very happy bro
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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