What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
