Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
