She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize