btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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