Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
