Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
