i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I accidentally had phone sex last night
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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