you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need a beard to bite.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
