She said her name was "party"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
