after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
