Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dicks are not precious.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
