We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
