you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
