I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
