she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My dick has a subreddit
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
