I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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