You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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