Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
can u get pink eye on your cock?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize