hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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