I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
