For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
