D3 body, D1 cock
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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