can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
