When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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