I hate your face
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize