awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
