The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
