I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
