Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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