I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
