My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
