I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
