ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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