hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
