You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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