i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I will pee on everything he values.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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