that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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