You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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