I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize