**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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