Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
