you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize