We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize