i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
