she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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