I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
