uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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