Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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