youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
