Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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