also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Who died my cat blue again?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
