just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it was like eating out sand paper
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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