We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
