OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize