Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
