You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
