what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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