You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
