PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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