Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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